Time heals all wounds… But, all the time in the world will not preemptively heal wounds that have yet to happen.

I’d been putting off writing a particular business related email for a long time. An email where I needed to ask for something, and I was terrified of being rejected.

I wrote about this fear during my Morning Pages and stumbled upon a big realization.

Behold. My morning pages.

Handwriting transcription: “Ugh. I need to get over the fear of inconveniencing people. If people don’t want to do something, especially at that level, they simply won’t do it and they won’t bat an eye. Holy s…unflower. I’m spending weeks agonizing over something that others won’t really be troubled by.”

In this particular case, the company’s answer is not going to change from one week to the next. If it’s going to be a no, it will be a no this week or next month. For them, it’s one more email. For me, it’d been weeks of worrying about how I was going to be perceived.

Something started shifting in my mind. The following morning, I continued exploring.

My fear of rejection diminished when I thought of it as part of a process of elimination, and not an end. The amount of peace I felt in this moment is the reason why I love morning pages. 

Someone could have told me this… In fact, I’m sure somebody has… but, it wasn’t until I “dug” and unearthed this gem for myself that I fully understood it.

Later that morning, I went to a coffee shop and asked the barista for a cappuccino and a piece of paper. 

I sat down to write a list of the points I wanted to be sure to communicate. Referencing that list, I wrote down the first draft of the email.

Doing this on paper and away from the computer was extra helpful. It made me focus on the human side of things, reminding me that we are all, after all, just people. I was able to express all my thoughts honestly and then distill them into a brief, professional email.

I sent it later that day.

I felt good about myself and certain that I’d done the right thing. I no longer felt afraid that rejection would hurt me.

I hereby promise to remind myself the following things:

About Time: Prolonging something out of fear only prolongs my own misery without changing the outcome. It’s better to take action.

About Rejection: Rejection is just part of a process of elimination. YOUR process. And it’s hardly ever personal when it comes to business.

DO NOT make it personal, Malukah. I promise you that high level executives are not writing about you in their morning pages, worrying about how to respond to you.

On the other side of emails sit humans, just like you. They are not scary. Just be concise and respectful.

As I hit send, I hoped I never had to write another email like that again.

And then I had to, about a week later. And it was a hell of a lot easier.

Thanks for reading!
Malu